I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize