on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
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So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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