i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
