Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
