the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my nose is crying tears of wow.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
