WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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