a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
