fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
