the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
