were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
