Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
