do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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