Having a random hookup so left but love u
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
