shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize