I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
