his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
