I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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