2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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