we're blogging at a bar
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
