she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
