Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
