Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
