Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
