i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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