Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
