thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
