I skipped work to stalk him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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