I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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