the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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