You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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