I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
