just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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