Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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