what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
