So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
