SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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