it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
