He had one of those small greek statue penises
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Dignity is for republicans.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
