Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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