just come out here and I will go home with you...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
