There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm both gender and math confused
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
