my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
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2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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