only if we run a train.
done.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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