I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize