Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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