and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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