he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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