He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
