we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize