Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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