i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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