He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
