i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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