I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
