winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
