the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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