I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
