your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
