That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
