Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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